Ellen Kim brings deal-making mindset to mediation

For Ellen Kim, mediation has a lot in common with negotiating a technology deal: Listen closely, understand what the other side needs and don't give up just because another round of negotiations failed.

Kim, a mediator with Cadenza Resolutions and Advisory LLC, brought that approach to the Los Angeles County Superior Court's Mediation Volunteer Panel after working as an in-house technology transactions attorney. She now handles about 10 to 12 mediations annually for the court, accepting most assignments her schedule permits.

As a technology transactions lawyer, Kim negotiated software licensing agreements with customers and learned to persevere through repeated redlines and new demands.

"It was shuttle diplomacy by a different name," Kim said.

That experience taught her not to tire when negotiations stretch through round after round. But Kim said some of her most valuable lessons came not from other lawyers but from sales professionals, who taught her the importance of developing relationships, listening for a customer's needs and understanding who actually influences a decision.

Those skills have direct parallels in mediation, she said, where identifying decision-makers, building rapport and persuading skeptical parties can determine whether negotiations move forward.

Kim, whose practice includes commercial disputes, breach of contract, personal injury and landlord-tenant matters, said her primary strategy for earning parties' trust is deceptively simple: listen.

"I appreciate how rare it is for both sides to have someone who will be willing to listen to their whole, long story with attentiveness, curiosity, and care," she said.

That trust becomes particularly important when Kim has to challenge parties who have spent months or years becoming convinced of the strength of their positions. A mediator, she said, sometimes has to help them confront difficult truths while convincing them she remains committed to helping them.

Kim doesn't measure a successful mediation solely by whether the parties settle. Even an unsuccessful settlement conference can narrow disputed issues, expose assumptions and leave litigants better prepared for trial, she said.

Her favorite part of the job is helping people untangle conflicts they have been unable to resolve themselves.

"I often tell parties newer to mediation that I am not on any side," Kim said. "I am on the side of a settlement."

For lawyers considering volunteering as mediators, Kim said the experience offers something litigation often cannot: the opportunity to facilitate conversations between adversaries and give them a measure of clarity and closure.

"Simply put," she said of the work's reward, "it is the reward of helping people."